The Best Movies Never Made

A blog of film ideas that should be made.

Large Hadron Collider-The Movie

Posted by leighb on September 17, 2008




The world`s greatest scientist?

Nicholas Cage: The world`s greatest scientist?

Starring: Nicholas Cage and David Caruso


In this action packed drama, Nicholas Cage plays the role of Chief Scientific officer Jos Engelen for CERN (The European Organization for Nuclear Research). Cage`s character has been working alongside his physicist pals for the best part of a decade on the Large Hadron Collider. In fact, ever since he was a small boy in his modest Dutch hometown, Jos dreamed of being the greatest scientist in the world. When rumours of a monumental scientific experiment are heard around the international community, Jos can`t help but risk his credibility and eventually his life to be involved in the project.  The project is the Large Hadron Collider. A device that will smash sub-atomic particles together at the speed of light and potentially usher in a new age of scientific discovery, even find God. It`s an experiment so bold, so huge and so expensive, they said it couldn`t be done. But some out there claim that the experiment is too costly, too dangerous and too ridiculous.


David Caruso plays the head of a group of an anti-LHC committee No HolesNo Holes are comprised mostly of disenfranchised scientists, religious fundamentalists and concerned mothers and claim that the Large Hadron Collider project will destroy humanity by creating a catastrophic black hole. As the project progresses and enters it`s testing phase, the committee become increasingly desperate and plot to destroy the Large Hadron Collider and all those working on the project. Even go as far as kidnap Jos`s wife and children and hold them to ransom.


Can Jos and his lab-coated bretheren stop the lunatics of No-Holes?  Will Jos sacrifice his family for science? If they so, what will happen should the particles collide? Will humanity be flung into the true space age or  will the earth be sucked asunder into Switzerland. Find out in LHC The Movie!

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5 Responses to “Large Hadron Collider-The Movie”

  1. al said

    wonder how much David Carusos fee was.

  2. leighw said

    I heard he did it for some blow.

  3. Any ideas for a sequel? I was thinking “Large Hairdryer Colander – The Movie II.”

  4. Eric said

    This would only work if Nicolas Cage kept the hair he had in Bangkok Dangerous. Then I’d go see it.

  5. Jack Payne said

    This film was a non-starter for me.

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