The Best Movies Never Made

A blog of film ideas that should be made.

Large Hadron Collider-The Movie

Posted by leighb on September 17, 2008

The world`s greatest scientist?

Nicholas Cage: The world`s greatest scientist?

Starring: Nicholas Cage and David Caruso

In this action packed drama, Nicholas Cage plays the role of Chief Scientific officer Jos Engelen for CERN (The European Organization for Nuclear Research). Cage`s character has been working alongside his physicist pals for the best part of a decade on the Large Hadron Collider. In fact, ever since he was a small boy in his modest Dutch hometown, Jos dreamed of being the greatest scientist in the world. When rumours of a monumental scientific experiment are heard around the international community, Jos can`t help but risk his credibility and eventually his life to be involved in the project.  The project is the Large Hadron Collider. A device that will smash sub-atomic particles together at the speed of light and potentially usher in a new age of scientific discovery, even find God. It`s an experiment so bold, so huge and so expensive, they said it couldn`t be done. But some out there claim that the experiment is too costly, too dangerous and too ridiculous.

David Caruso plays the head of a group of an anti-LHC committee No HolesNo Holes are comprised mostly of disenfranchised scientists, religious fundamentalists and concerned mothers and claim that the Large Hadron Collider project will destroy humanity by creating a catastrophic black hole. As the project progresses and enters it`s testing phase, the committee become increasingly desperate and plot to destroy the Large Hadron Collider and all those working on the project. Even go as far as kidnap Jos`s wife and children and hold them to ransom.

Can Jos and his lab-coated bretheren stop the lunatics of No-Holes?  Will Jos sacrifice his family for science? If they so, what will happen should the particles collide? Will humanity be flung into the true space age or  will the earth be sucked asunder into Switzerland. Find out in LHC The Movie!


Posted in Drama | Tagged: , , , | 5 Comments »

Fudge n Beans

Posted by leighb on September 14, 2008

When Ray Fudge, a Miami detective, turned 57, he was looking forward to winding down his time on the force. Only one more year until he could get that cushy desk job for the last few years of his career. Ray thought his life was finally going to get easier. That was until detective Trey Beans walked into the precinct.

Trey Beans: The maverick thirty-something, recently transferred detective from Wisconsin, had a reputation. He wasn’t afraid to do 60 in a 40 mph zone if it meant getting the job done. Nor did he have a problem with his record of hospitalizing of two previous partners ( perforated liver and one nervous breakdown), or his infamous stabbing of an aggravated robbery suspect with his badge in the ear. Yes sir, Trey Beans did what it takes to get the bad guys behind bars and it was these kinds of results an ever desperate Miami Police department were looking for. How ever risky it seemed.

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Posted by leighb on September 14, 2008

Biblical Babes Gone Bad


This is a contribution from pontifiction

When things go awry in Babylon, Lilith, a young hot storm demon, decides to take matters into her own hands. Born in the bad lands of biblical Mesopotamia, this is one lady you don’t want to mess with. She’ll rip you up and sh*t you out. When she’s not spreading disease and carnage, she’s caring a grudge that will fly you away from this realm to the underworld. This action packed saga will literally keep you pealed to your pew. Don’t forget to make a donation because Biblical Babes Gone Bad is coming soon to a cathedral near you.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Revenge of the Mack: The Mark Morrison Story

Posted by leighb on September 11, 2008

In 1996 Mark Morrison topped the charts in the UK and Europe with the single Return of the Mack. Morrison quickly became the UK’s most successful urban RnB artist. In 1997 Mark followed up his debut-album with a nine track EP featuring his follow-up single Who is the Mack?  Some might say that in 1997 the self-proclaimed “Mack’s” career nosedived somewhat. Fortunately, Morrison hired a camera crew to follow him throughout that fateful year.

In his performances, Mark often pleaded his innocence  to crimes he was convicted of in the early 90’s. A life of crime undoubtedly raises the street cred. Tupac was charged with sexual assault. The Notorious B.I.G was arrested for drugs and weapons. In 1997, Mark Morrisson tried to bring a stun gun onto an aircraft.

Join Mark and his enterauge on his journey to become the baddest British rapper of all time. Enjoy his highs as he draws a gun on stage at the 1997 Brit awards. Feel the depths of the lows as Mark is once again arrested for paying someone else to do his community service while he holidayed in Barbados.

Mark always professed. “Only god can judge me!” Now with the release of his story Revenge of The Mack, you too can judge him.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Flashdance 3. Keep on Dancing

Posted by leighb on September 8, 2008

Over two decades later, this idea comes in from “Al”, a huge fan of the original Flashdance film. Details on the plot merely consist of; “Contains a ****load of dancing.”

Norwegian pop gods A-Ha are earmarked for a triumphant comeback. Penning and performing the entire soundtrack


A-ha. It couldn't happpen without mullets and a denim-clad ass in your face!

A-ha. It couldn't happen without mullets and a denim clad ass in your face!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

LAN Party (aka You Got Pwned)

Posted by leighb on September 4, 2008

Lan Party-You Got Pwned!

Lan Party-You Got Pwned!

The party genre of movies has brought us many titles. National Lampoons produced a ton of wacky movies. Who can also forget titles like Beach Party, Psycho Beach Party, House Party and of course House Party 2. The genre has been left flaccid and limp since it`s heyday in the late 70`s/early 80`s. But don`t fret all you lovers of hilarity and frat-boy hi-jinks! Hollywood plans to revive the genre while cashing in on the much neglected ,yet lucrative, nerd market with LAN Party.

LAN Party  goes where previous party movies never ventured: Cyberspace.

Sick of going to parties without girls, two high-school pals, Zach Klowinsky and Rob Richardson (aka Psyklow_ZX and RichSlayr_91) decide to spice up their circle’s monthly LAN Party. The boys invest heavily into alcohol and Facebook invitations to attract a more “popular crowd” to their parties, only to realize that all the alcohol and networking site applications in the world won’t change the fact that they and their friends are still a group of slightly overweight, pasty dudes who play on-line games on weekends. Not until they discover that one of the most popular girls in school, Brooke Westfield, by night offers her “services” on an adult-oriented webcam page, does their luck turn. After hefty amounts of promised cash, all she can drink and eventual blackmail, Zach and Rob manage to recruit the services of Brook at their next LAN party. An unlikely mix somewhat predictably flourishes into a tearful heart-warming relationship between Brook and the boys. The parties become more and more debauched and soon enough the on-line pwnage gives way to live music, drugs and dancing girls. The in crowd and girls they yearned for flock to their maniacal meetings. Somewhere along the way though have Zach and Rob sold out, abandoned their on-line buddies and become the jocks who tormented them all their lives? Will Brook ditch the boys on the eve of their biggest party yet for the prom? The frags, fun, madness and megabytes flow on LAN Party!

Posted in Comedy | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Grand Opening

Posted by leighb on September 4, 2008

Hopefully the first of many posts to come on this site. However, things aren`t off to the greatest of starts with my deleting of the comments I`ve received so far. One comment contained two excellent movie concepts. So, IheartJapan, if you are reading, please feel free to contribute your wonderous grape-themed ideas.

More soon…..

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